Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
