You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
