You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
