apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Randomize