pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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