my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
