Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
