Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
