ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
