In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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