Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
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