Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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