he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
