he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
