Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
