Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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