dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
And the cops told us we were all naked.
this will be a night to untag.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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