I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize