She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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