He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I am available for nakedness
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
