shes about as inviting as chlamydia
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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