we have pet lesbian snakes
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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