I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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