Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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