Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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