New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
