So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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