smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
