After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize