okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize