I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
im six kinds of drunk right now
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
