i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
