I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
