So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize