Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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