areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i just google imaged poop.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
