But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize