OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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