I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
