I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
