Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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