Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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