Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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