If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
