is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
