im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Randomize
