It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
