and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
