ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
