it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize