4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
