Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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