wat bout pragnant strippers??
My Higher Power is John Stamos
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
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