i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Randomize
