I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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