He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Don't EVER smell your tampon
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
