I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
