you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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