Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize